IHH # 7 ( Love Hate Relationship)

For a guy who always wanted many many kids, my husband is definitely not a good example to get what he wants. He only wants to play with them when he wants to, but would never be patient enough to take care of them. So basically, he only wants to taste the sweet but when gets to the bitter part, they're all mine.

He was off work around 4pm and then went out doing something. If he wanted to go and look at the "land" he likes, he should have gone then instead of coming home so soon, then slept on the couch and then when it's around 7pm, he decided he wants to go for a drive. HELLO???? I have yoga!!! I endured the whole day of tantrums and frustration only because I know at the end of the day, I get to go do some yoga and have some quality time for myself. Is that too much to ask??? He then went and said that then I should go and earn 70-80K before I can voice my opinion. OK!!! If it's not because of the kids.. i actually can earn much more than him. But to hear that spoken out like that just hurt... very hurtful.. He really thinks he can handle the kids himself??? No way.. he always got frustrated once they started throwing tantrums.. and now he's giving me this crap???? I mean seriously.. for all the people out there who's not married yet.. DON'T EVER GET MARRIED TO A MALAYSIAN CAVEMAN!!!!!

Tell me if I'm being unreasonable??? I've been watching the kids for the whole day.. and i only needed some time for myself at night.. and the kids sleep at 8pm. Is that too much to ask??? tell me.. come on.. tell me!!!!!! I'm dying to know if I'm unreasonable... do all the other dads out there don't take care of their kids after they come back from work????? tell me!!! b/c I can actually list out a bunch who do!!!!

If i go out the whole day and leave the kids to him.. yes he can say whatever he wants.. but NO.. I only leave the house on weekdays after putting the kids to bed... he only needs to take care of Ava such as putting her to bed and read and sing to her (his own doing.. I never did this and he went and added this routine). She's actually very good already because she will sleep or at least stay in bed. The only time he has to watch the kids is on weekend (he has no work mind you). I only go 7:30-9:30am. That's it. Is that too much to ask??? Did he really marry me so he can turn me into a maid?? say this kind of hurtful words to me?? not respecting me?? undermined my teaching to my kids by undoing all the goods I try to instill in them.

I'm so freaking tired living like this .. Some people who only see him occasionally probably didn't think he's like this and will probably think I'm exaggerating.. please.. I invite you to come and live with us for at least 2 months.. because it does take times for all his craps to surface. You'll see what I'm living with.. It's a miracle that I'm still sane. Sometimes i feel like I'm going insane..

The followings are some tips for all the unmarried women out there. Please make sure you ask these questions and do these tests before saying yes.
1. Take him to see a movie where all the women are oppressed. Such as those old chinese or japanese movies where the wife has to do the home chores on their hands and knees and ask him what he thinks of that. If he said, sure, that's what women should do. Please .. stay away from these guys. .. run to the opposite direction everytime you see him approaching..
2. Buy something that he uses everyday for him (such as toothpaste). If he said oh, I like this toothpaste.. Then.. after awhile, see if he will say the same thing when you buy that same brand for him, or will he say "what is this?? this tastes bad". Again, ladies.. stay away from this man.
3. Take him to mingle with your married friends with kids. If he plays well with the kids.. don't be too happy. Try to get him to babysit for the whole day and watch him from a nannycam. See if he's still "cool" or will he lose it.
4. Lastly.. you might want to be with this person for awhile before marrying him. Do not believe what the ex told you. She might be lying so that she can get rid of him ASAP.

Lastly.. for the other lady who might be following my footsteps after i die or disappear. Please get a marriage contract from him. Also, get a blood transfusion from him. He's only nice to blood related people. His sisters and daugther are always the nicest, but other people's daughter (me) are just for him to use as a feet mop. So it might be better for you (out there) to be his sister first ..then marry him.. b/c then you'll be related and he'll be nice to you. GOOD LUCK and STAY SANE!!